Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dear Eyewear Designers,

Look, I know how it is... you wanna be hip, you wanna be cool, you wanna be trendy. But do you think maybe you can lay off trying to make every last pair of eye glasses look "fancy." Some of us just want something simple... something classic. Some of us don't want a 3 inch high "status" logo on the side of our heads. Or white lining the inside of our black glasses. Or the bling... oh dear god, the bling. Maybe I'm being short sighted (haha, totally awful pun intended). Maybe someday, I'll be trapped in the woods & all that will stand between me & a life-saving fire will be the shiny, sparkly bling all over of the pair of glasses I didn't pick. You know, because I could use the bling to reflect the sun into a pile of sticks & dried grass. Just maybe then I will regret my snarky judgments of your designs. But I really fucking doubt it.

The fact is, sometimes you want a change & you sometimes you wanna stick with what works for you. Last year, I settled for change because you refused to give me what I wanted. And so, for the last year, I've been wearing a pair of glasses that are greenish and purplish with paisley on the inside. Oh yes, I said paisley. And they didn't even look bad... they just didn't make me feel as confident as my old pair did. For a year, people have had to hear me bitch about how all I wanted was a simple pair of tortoise shell eye glasses. Like these:

See? There's nothing fancy going on there*. They're not pink inside or (shudder) purple reddish rainbow puke like the only two pairs I could find today that were generally this same style.

Now, I know what your thinking. "Well, Miss Snarkypants, if you liked those glasses so much why don't you just use one of your two previous pairs that looked just like that?" Well, let me tell you. Because my then 8 month old dog chewed both pairs into itty bitty pieces while I slept within 1 month of each other. Is that your fault? Noooo. But it had only been 4 months since I bought the above pair and when I went back to Lenscrafters, this style had been discontinued. In favor of many styles featuring status logos, bling & contrasting colors lining the inside. Gag. And that was your fault. So I tried it your way... your stupid trendy Nine West glasses in a different color (multiple colors even!) and slightly different style. And you know what? I didn't like them. And now I'd like to go back to classic & simple, if you please. Other people? If they like the highly stylized stuff out there right now, more power to them. I'll admit, some people look great in them. But that is just not me. So kindly throw a couple of simple pairs into the mix when you're adding jetpacks to next season's line. Mmkay?


*except for with my hair... how great does my hair look here? (sigh) Miss you, Brett!

1 comment:

la terreur said...

TOTALLY agree!! i think i went to 8 different eyeglasses stores to get my frames, and that was 3 years ago. i don't even want to think about shopping again.